can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I am available for nakedness
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
