I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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