Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
