Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Houston, we have a squirter
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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