Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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