Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
