I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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