you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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