We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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