My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
