I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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