My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
