If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
