the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
