My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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