I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize