Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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