from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
