but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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