Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
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