You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
