you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So many bounce houses so little time
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
