I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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