I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
