She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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