areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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