quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
