just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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