he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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