Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
