Apparently you make a good broom.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
