Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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