I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
