I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
