I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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