I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
