We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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