we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
