I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
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My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
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I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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