So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
