she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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