google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize