Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She's the barista slut.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We were destined to go to rehab together
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
