What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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