We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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