There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
