I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
