i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
