your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
