everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
