I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
