he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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