I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
