So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
