he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
